AM I A WRITER?

Final-year BA Creative Writing student Eloisa Herron describes her journey towards taking the course, and her feelings about having done so.

I had never considered myself a writer, not in the slightest. I have long enjoyed reading, acting and drawing, but had never contemplated sitting down to write a story.

I enjoyed English just fine at school: I liked to study the various pieces of literature and I considered myself relatively good at the English Language side of things. But a very boring (and unsupportive) English teacher made for a total loss of passion for the subject, if not the broad subject matter. I underachieved in my English GCSE, which didn’t exactly make me jump at the idea of doing it at A-level.

I decided to study Business BTEC and Psychology, two things I had never done before. I had never really had much interest in business, but felt it was ‘safe’. That’s what I liked about it. It was a safe option that would, surely, open up lots of future prospects.

But I wanted more than that. I wanted to wake up every day inspired and passionate about what I was doing with my life.

When we went into lockdown, I had applied to study business marketing at various universities. I was accepted at Royal Holloway, which felt like a huge accomplishment. But still, it didn’t feel right. I wasn’t excited. My thoughts were consumed by doing this degree and the prospect of then spending my life behind a desk doing what I feared would be underwhelming work.

However, being at home all day every day for months opened up stacks of free time. So, I began reading again. I had read books before, of course I had, but this was different. I would pick up book after book, and venture into online stories: fan fiction, romances, thrillers. The turning point was when I picked up Call Me by Your Name by Andre Aciman. I remember the moment I finished it, closing the last page and thinking how changed I was. The way is made me feel and the impact it had on me. I thought ‘I want to do that; I want to make people feel how this book has made me feel.’ I wanted to learn how to write as beautifully as this author, and so many other authors.  

A week before A level results day, I was researching universities that offer creative writing courses. I was panicked by the prospects of trying my hand at this art. The idea that even if I tried, I would never be good enough, that it was so easy to fail. But this made it more exciting. It wasn’t ‘safe’ anymore. It was thrilling and made me feel like my life instantly had more purpose. I may never make it as an author but hell, I am going to try. And sure enough, on results day I phoned up Nottingham Trent and asked to be part of the course.

Three years down the line, I don’t regret a single thing. I am about to write a dissertation and finally throw myself into a bigger piece of work. I have achieved so much already and am so proud of how far I have come.

So, for anyone unsure: Do it! Take a risk if it means you get to enjoy what you do every single day. I have never felt more like myself, and I wish everyone could feel like that. Never be afraid to chase something you want.

I had never considered myself a writer, but now, I wouldn’t consider myself anything else.